So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
