I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize