Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
