Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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