There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
