We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
