I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
