How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
