Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize