TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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