He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
