this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Banned from zoo.
Again?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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