With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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