If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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