I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Randomize
