I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
