i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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