Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
