Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There r osticjed everywhere
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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