He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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