butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
