So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i dont even know how to be here
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
