Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
