Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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