I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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