even my farts smell like vagina
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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