I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
