I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
