Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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