Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We had to coat check the pizza.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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