Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
