u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Panties = found
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
