You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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