She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
