I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
