It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
