these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
