did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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