OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
