how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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