i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
