What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
