Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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