Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
