I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
