the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
