Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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