i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
