I wish I could punch you in the face.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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