Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
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So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
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Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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