kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize