It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
