I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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