we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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