I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
