It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you would pick up someone in the library
My balls are so social today.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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