I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
