That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
