There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
