And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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