Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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