Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
