My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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