i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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