O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
