Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
