Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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