two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
