rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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