What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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