when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
