Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
