she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you inspire me to be a worse person
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
