I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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