Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
